Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu

⭐ 4/10

I used this gif when writing my Mandalorian Season 3 review, and while I was watching this movie it's all I could think of.

I'm gonna repeat myself probably, but I loved the first 2 seasons of that show. Week to week adventure, no super heavy lore, a relationship evolving as our characters get stronger and their armour and weapons get cooler. Very simple, very steady, very enjoyable in small weekly doses. Season 3 abandoned the fun for this lore that isn't interesting, widening beyond the titular pair in boring ways.

This movie has no lore, but also no story. They talk to some people, go somewhere, have a fight, repeat. I mean, they are trying to rescue Rotta the Hutt, but that is dispensed of early and then they are kind of just fighting to survive. I don't know, just so boring, neither character grows or changes. Just an absolute zero of a movie, brings nothing new or exciting to the table.

Sigourney Weaver is in this and it looks like she is being held at gunpoint all movie. Completely flat dialogue, dead in the eyes. The dialogue across the board is bad, but there actually isn't a ton of it. We get to hear Rotta wax about how he's not like his dad Jabba. That's Jeremy Allen White, one of the biggest stars alive right now, playing a big worm with a voice so covered up you can't even tell its him. Incomprehensible choices.

Okay, I will say that the opening action sequence had me gripped. I went in with very low expectations and was like, hang on! Am I going to be a contrarian on this one!? But no nothing after that came close. It's just an action scene, but I thought it was well staged, and reminded me of the beginnings of this show. You encounter him mid-mission and he kicks butt, pretty fun. There is another interesting arc where they get separated and Grogu has to save Mando! But it barely lasts long, and Grogu getting the means to save him is completely incidental, he doesn't make choices, follows his stomach and luckily finds someone who can help. He's still wildly cute and makes me smile, I just want more for my precious boy.

We just did Andor people, can't you learn any lessons from that? Who is this for? Because I'll tell you what there are some freaky animals, a bunch of gnarly deaths, and a million jump scares - its not for kids! Is it for Star Wars fanboys who like seeing puppets like in the old movies? Well these puppets are there for laughs, not to be meaningful characters. Is it to make money? Mission failed I assume, this thing is a bomb. I just don't understand how so much time has been taken and no lessons have been learned. Dave Filoni makes 2 cameos (that I saw), and in both he is looking smug and cool as an X-Wing pilot. I like a bunch of the cartoon stuff he has made, but his live action work is all atrocious. Wipe that grin off your face and make something good! He's the the foremost Star Wars fan, and he's running the studio, it baffles me that what he is interested in hasn't changed over time, matured in any way, in fact its getting dumber and more infantile.

Final note, the music is still incredible, Ludwig is the best, and when that theme hits I still get chills. Actually, my real final note, is Pedro the most prolific actor to be in this many terrible movies? Eddington aside its all trash, and he's probably going to be making Marvel and Star Wars cameos the rest of his life. I bet that's not a bad life actually, because I bet he's actually hardly ever in this suit. Real convenient that his character is duty-bound to keep that helmet on. There is just so much potential, both these characters are so great. Please I'm begging you Dave, give Tony Gilroy a call and go out for some coffee.