The Road - Cormac McCarthy

⭐9/10

This is an ultra bleak, ultra dark book written by one of history's bleakest, darkest writers. It's about an unnamed man and his young son traversing post-apocalyptic America for some vague notion of a better life down south. There are precious few moments of levity or hope right until the somewhat ambiguous ending, and is mostly a description of the man grappling with not only his own suffering, but watching his son go through it as well. 

I don't know why, but for a book that has essentially no happiness, I found it quite readable. There is nothing but horrific images, and yet I couldn't stop flipping the pages. I think a major quality to the book's credit is that you know the author isn't going to hold back, and so every encounter has real stakes. Whether it's facing off against cannibalistic bandits or simply not having any food, you want to know what happens because there is no free passes for our protagonists. 

I thought the world that is set up is expertly done. It shows a lot of restraint in that this is a character driven book, and so a description of the end days simply doesn't happen. All you know is that something happened where plant life died and the world is surrounded in smoke and ash, and so humans are surviving on the remains of past civilization, eating canned food, drinking dirty water and warming by burning dead trees. There are some flashbacks to the old days, but again it's less exposition and more revealing things about our characters. A dad who has a will to survive, even when survival might not be worth it. 

This book got me in a crazy headspace. It is very clearly the end of days, and even if the man and his boy survive the day, what are they working towards? If they don't die today, it surely won't be long. Life is not sustainable. It asked a lot of questions about our own purpose in life: what drives us, what motivates us, and what keeps us living when the world is so cruel? By stripping away everything besides survival, it forces you to ask those big questions. I hear a lot of bleak stuff at work, and I feel like a big part of my mental energy is trying to find reasons for hope in terrible circumstances. This book seemed to crystallize things for me, or at least forced me to grapple with the core of this reasoning. It's also one of those books where death doesn't seem so bad, a bit of comfort in a way. No matter how bad things get, all will be washed away in the end. 

Reading this book almost felt like playing a souls game. Everything is dark, there is no joy, and the cavalry won't be coming. You are forced to overcome it. In Souls, you are obviously honing your skills to overcome challenges, but in reading this book it's a bit of a mental challenge, not letting the dread overcome you. It's a weird feeling, but upon starting this book I had that distinct feeling of embracing the darkness, getting my hands dirty and working through it. For the characters, the external challenges of starvation and illness are secondary to the challenge of keeping the fire alive. 

This is a bit of an odd review, and I understand this book probably spoke to me in a unique way, but I loved it. I mean I guess I should mention that it is also beautifully and horrifically written, McCarthy being a true master. It was not a fun read or one I could easily recommend to really anyone, but it was somehow comforting to read in the midst of a difficult season for me. If the boy can carry the fire, so can I!