DOOM: The Dark Ages

⭐9/10

This is the coolest, most badass video game ever made. It's also the most Christian video game ever made because in what other game are you trying to kill the devil? 

I don't actually know that much about the DOOM universe, but I don't think that's important. This is the second game I've played, and in each one you play as the Doom Slayer (I mean, what a name) as you fight off an invasion of demons, and then travel to hell to finish the job, all the while rocking out and killing things to metal music. There is a little more story to this one, complete with cutscenes and all, but it's all a bunch of nonsense. You are here to blast demons into smithereens. 

This game, and this series, is an ode to badassery. You play as some sort of vengeful demigod, and your weapons consist of a shotgun, a gas-powered chainsaw shield, a gun that crushes skulls into bone-fragment bullets, a spiked mace, a gun that shoots a ball on a chain... I mean everything here is completely ridiculous and over-the-top and I love it. Every time you kill something, they explode into a sea of meat sauce. Starting with the wild intro, I played the first hour with a huge, dumb smile on my face. No game makes you cheer like you're watching sports, or throw up the horns like you're at an Aerosmith concert. Hell yeah brother!!!

But the thing about this game is that it is fun to play. Every shot you take is immensely satisfying, every bone-crunching finisher feels like the ultimate power fantasy. But this game also introduces the sheild, and while the 2010s was the decade of the grappling hook, the 2020s are the decade of the parry. The game is built around the parry mechanic, and it helps you get nice and close to enemies, knowing you can deflect their attacks if you are quick enough. These fights where you are up against an archdemon, parrying attacks and blasting off shots just feels so good. Chaining stuns and heavy hits, you can't touch me!! It felt similar to God of War in a way, crunchy combat where you constantly feel like you're on the offensive. 

So what's left to say? Obviously this game isn't for everyone, but it's important to note that this game doesn't take itself seriously at all, and is as aware of its ridiculousness as the player is. You are expected to laugh and cheer and roll your eyes. There is not really anything here that actually feels grotesque or makes you feel uncomfortable, it's just a silly game about a guy created in a lab for the purpose of killing demons, and then him doing that. It's a good 15 hours of pure adrenaline, and not a game you want to play for hours at a time. It's like a ridiculous action movie where the whole movie is the climax. What could be better than that?