Moana 2

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⭐2/10

While you were busy watching Wicked and Gladiator, I was already onto the new hot thing: Moana 2. 

Yeah... This movie was a atrocious. A failure in every regard. I guess this was essentially a converted TV series, and it feels like it. I want to say it feels like a straight-to-DVD sequel of yore, but that's an insult to the masterpiece that is Lion King 2. 

This movie has a story that is incoherent at best and boring at worst. It recycles a few old jokes. Remember that chicken? He still loves eating stuff he shouldn't. Remember the pig? Actually yeah, me neither. But Maui still wants to eat them both, if you can believe it. 

There is a new, forgettable ragtag team. A new villain? I literally can't remember if there was a villain. There is nice animation in this movie, but certainly not anything mind blowing at this point. 

But the biggest offense? The music sucked. We all owe Lin Manuel Miranda an apology. In fact, I'm starting to wonder if the first movie sucked, but just had good music. Is that true? No, I remember thinking The Rock was good, as was the Lobster, and the chicken had some good gags... 

Anyway, this is a kids-only movie. Parents beware. I think Disney's reckoning is coming nigh. They haven't made a ton of good movies lately, but now they are starting to make some seriously bad ones.

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