Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

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⭐7/10

Yaaaa this is a tough one. I don't think it's lows are as low as episode 1, but it sure comes close.  For whatever reason, I don't have the same nostalgia for this one and I'm not even totally sure I watched it until a few years after it came out?

Hayden Christensen caught a lot of criticism for his performance, and some of that is fair, but I actually think he's pretty good as this petulant, arrogant, horny teenager. There is some pretty brutal writing, but the main crime of this movie is making the romance so, so unbelievable. Padme is literally everything you could ever want. I was so in love with her, and Natalie Portman is my most enduring celebrity crush. In this movie, her character is smart, level headed, and, you know, very anti-genocide and anti-dictator... So it's maybe a little weird that the only qualities Anakin ever displays are that of an insane psychopath?? And she's into it?? So, so strange. 

I remember thinking this was the central issue with this movie, and think the same now as I write, but I also remember as I watched thinking like, ah, that stuff only makes up 5 minutes of this movie, and the rest is not bad. So there you go! This movie is 95% good! But seriously, I kinda dug some moments. I actually think the politics are pretty interesting here, which is weird compliment for a kid's movie. The Jedi charge is a cool scene, and the clone's arrival is a good idea. I just really think George Lucas did an awesome job of filling out this world, not relying on what made his first movies good. This is a totally different thing. He took a risk, and for my money, it worked out. 

Few quick hitters: The Dooku fight is pretty rad, and I think I'm in the minority by loving the Yoda action. I think the knowledge that Hayden did most of his own lightsaber choreography added to it. While I'm a big Obi Wan fan, I think this is actually his worst of the 3. He also has a weird look, kinda fuzzy. But great job making him seem like 3 different ages in this series. This movie also looked much better than the first in terms of effects.

Anyways, I need to at least once more profess my love for Padme in this series. She is perfect. And when that shirt gets clawed in half? I don't blame Anakin for a thing. 

So yeah, super imperfect movie, but I still definitely enjoyed it. This rewatch has made me fall in love with this world all over again. I wish I could put into words that feeling I get when that opening music comes on... 

Comments

  1. Tim Dyck30 May 2024 at 21:44

    I always found the stuff on Kamino really boring, so much work explaining the clones but they never actually explain why they switch sides... This one also has the iconic sand monologue. But ya, can't say I'm high on this one, found the action outside the final standoff to be boring.

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