Vampire Survivors

⭐ 8.0/10

(Originally written by Joseph)

This was last year's indie darling that everyone was raving about. It's incredibly simple; basically you control a pixelated hero, walk around and gather power ups that help fend off hoards of zombies. You don't actually press any buttons, you just control your direction and choose power ups.

Well, despite being simple in concept, there is actually a lot of depth to it. Lots of combos and powers that complement each other, a few different objectives to prioritize. But make no mistake! This is just a straight dopamine blast straight to your brain, and it doesn't try to hide it. It's very addicting, and you can play for 3 hours straight but you sure won't feel good about it.

There are so many flashing lights and gems and level ups and treasure chests that it really is an overwhelming positive feedback loop. You can't go more than a few seconds without getting the next shiny thing which helps you get more shiny things. By the end there will be literally hundreds of enemies on your screen and it feels incredible seeing them get mowed down by the loadout you've assembled. It's some crazy, hypnotizing power fantasy. You see all these numbers add up and by the end you've killed thousands of guys and racked up millions of damage.

So I really don't know how I feel about Vampire Survivors. At some point I just decided I should move on because I don't think it's very possible to have a healthy relationship with this game. I think that's actually okay -- it's a short game and can't ruin your life. It's also very self-aware and knows it's all cheap thrills. So while I can't necessarily recommend this game as a work of art, I do think it's an impressive $5 game that is at least a healthier dopamine hit than doing crack.