The Witch

⭐ 7.5/10

(Originally written by Joseph)

You know what? I used to be the kid that the cousins didn't want to invite over because if they were watching a movie that was a tiny bit scary, their mom would be hearing from my mom. I wouldn't sleep for a week! Now look at me! Don't worry mom, I slept like a baby! You'd be so proud of me for watching this movie ❤️

That's not to say this movie didn't scare me, cuz it sure did. It's about 17th century puritans being banished to the wilderness, and when they settle down, some weird stuff happens and they are convinced there is a witch in the woods. It's an Eggers movie, so it is very weird, very trippy, very psychological. There are naked old ladies, and scary bible verses, and a black goat. It's a scary movie folks. It does a fantastic job of putting you in that setting, helping you understand their belief system, which helps you appreciate just why everything is so terrifying.

So yeah, I've come to like horror movies I guess, but I'm still not sold on Eggers. It's funny, cuz all his movies have sky-high critic scores and very low audience scores. He makes movies for critics. I don't mind a movie where you have to think, but his can get so artsy and abstract. I prefer deep, or morally ambiguous, or challenging. This is more metaphorical or something. He calls is a folktale which I like... But yeah, just a little too weird for my taste.

Still, there is a ton to like. It looks amazing, both beautiful and haunting. The music is great, the performances are great (what a voice from Ralph Ineson!), and it really is just dark and creepy. It was so close to getting a really high score from me.