The Northman

⭐ 5.0/10

(Originally written by Joseph)

I'm pretty confused as to why critics really like this one. Nobody likes big, muscular, blood-soaked men fighting more than me. But as Tim said, it's basically a normal revenge movie with some visual flare. I see very little difference between this and 300.

I actually have loved a lot of revenge movies because I think revenge, forgiveness and inner struggle are really great and powerful concepts to explore. But I didn't think there was much for exploration here at all, and I felt the characters were all super flat and one dimensional. Maybe it was trying to be true to the history or true to some ancient tale (or even Shakespeare), but I dunno, tell a new story! The people who this was written for have been dead for a thousand years!

Visually, I admit, this movie was a feast for the eyes. The final showdown was incredible to look at, but again I was expecting a little more exploration of what was going on in the main character's brain. Still, it looked awesome, the set pieces felt super authentic, and I think the movie does an awesome job transporting you to a different space, even if it's a depressing, bleak northern Europe that I'd prefer not to visit again. The main character (I don't even know his name) was certainly beautiful, but the movie as a whole lost a point when he cut hit hair and trimmed his beard.

So if you want a good, bloody, sword fighting romp? Eh, just watch Gladiator again. But if you want a good revenge story? Ah, just play Last of Us 2 or watch Count of Monte Christo. But if you want a cool psychological viking story?? Ah, Hellblade. Just kidding, that one is kinda whack too.