Robin - Dave Itzkoff

⭐ 7.5/10

(Originally written by Zach)

This review has a brief section on self-harm and suicide.

When I was a kid, we would go to my grandma and grandpa's house on every major holiday for a family dinner. Immediately following this meal, the adults cut loose with playing cards and the kids found toys to play with or movies to watch. My grandma had about 4 VHS tapes in the basement and there was one that we watched. The delightfully gender-bending Mrs. Doubtfire starring Robin Williams.

Apart from Genie in Aladdin this would be my first and most prominent encounter with Robin Williams. I later saw him in Jumanji, Patch Adams, and some of his stand-up specials. But to be real, I probably watched Mrs. Doubtfire eigth times a year for like 3 years.

There was something I revered about Williams, something charming and magnetic, warm and caring. When I found his biography in a thrift store a couple years ago, I payed the $3 and it sat on the shelf. At about 450 pages its nothing to sneeze at but I finally got around to reading it and I am glad I did.

I had no idea the level of fame and notoriety that Robin Williams had attained in his early career. He carved out his own genre of comedy and film through an explosive wit and an unstoppable charisma. I knew he was a funny-man from his films but his cultural status escaped me as a kid.

I learned that the majority of Williams' films did not do well with critics and many of them didn't do well in the box office either. He kind of got trapped by his own genius. He completed thoughtful films with roles that were quite meaningful to him and would get slammed for failing to make critics laugh.

The book goes into a lot about his three marriages and his relationship with his kids. There's a few chapters about his drug use, work hard play hard lifestyle, and of course his rehab experiences. Even though all of that is on the table, there's still a hidden Robin in the middle of all the interviews and stories. There's still a piece of himself that he never gave to anyone. This is most poignant in the final chapter of his life when Robin is battling a unique and difficult to diagnose form of dementia along with depression and anxiety.

His life as a comic for everyone was deeply driven by a desire to be loved and adored and I think he held back the deep struggles he was going through because it might steal someone else's joy. Robin took his own life without leaving a note or giving any of his close friends or family any indication that he might end his life.

I've been thinking of Robin. I've been wondering what his life can teach us. I think throughout, Williams is portrayed as having deep empathy for those around him. He could find something for anyone to laugh at, no matter their age. He was a loving person. Not just to his family but his friends as well. He loved them all well. He was present with people.

For all of his gifts and talents, he would say things like, "I'm no more talented than anyone else, I just got really lucky." He vastly under-appreciated the impact that him being him had on others. I guess what I get from this is to tell your friends you love and appreciate them. The other thing I get from this is that if it seems like someone to you is struggling, be brave and ask them about it. A lot of folks missed an opportunity with Robin because they felt uncomfortable asking.

Anyways, a decent book for interests sake. It's thorough and it has illuminated another slice of entertainment history for me.